Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
