You don't have asthma, your pregnant
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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