I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
