So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
