Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
