dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
