My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
A bitchslap is in order.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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