Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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