and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
