no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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