Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
