I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
