He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
