my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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