i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
