After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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