im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
