I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
you didnt know i had herpes?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
