saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
