And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
