I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
