maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
