If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
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