i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
