My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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