Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize