yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
