why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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