you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
