are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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