How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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