Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
