If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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