my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
