Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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