Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
