Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Your dad touched me again.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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