What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
