i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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