I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
