This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
