Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize