i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
