Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
