Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
