Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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