she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
