And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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