i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
