how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
