Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
me + whiskey = a bad person
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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