Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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