There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
either way he was missing a nipple.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
