If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
