I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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