my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
