i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
