Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
they call him Oral-B. enough said
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Can you bring me the toilet please
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
