did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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