she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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