wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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