She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
soo... how was my night?
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