Got a toothbrush?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
